This was the Stud Muffin's response to what I saw as my rational request to protect myself from closet monsters when going to bed:
Me: "Honey could you please close the closet door all the way, you left it open a crack and they can still get me."
Stud Muffin: "Your neurotic tendencies are like Herpes. I never know when you are going to have a flair up."
Because the Stud Muffin loves me, he did end up closing the closet door anyways.
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