Introducing Grandma Betty

I've been in Hawaii for the last week visiting my family, including my colorful Grandma.  We were having a conversation about men who are supported by women and she shared the following:

Grandma: "I don't care how good the piece of ass is, I'm not supporting some guy."

Being Neurotic

This was the Stud Muffin's response to what I saw as my rational request to protect myself from closet monsters when going to bed:

Me: "Honey could you please close the closet door all the way, you left it open a crack and they can still get me."


Stud Muffin: "Your neurotic tendencies are like Herpes.  I never know when you are going to have a flair up."


Because the Stud Muffin loves me, he did end up closing the closet door anyways.

My Boyfriend "Bill"

My son's school has been calling my husband Brad, Bill for a few years now.  I've tried to get them to correct their lists to no avail.  Recently I got this email:

"Dear Bill and Natalie The UE staff thought that Bill had mentioned wanting to chaperone at Deep Portage this year, and we have not received any chaperone information... "


My response in part: "My husband's name is Brad.  My boyfriend's name is Bill, I really wish you guys would stop mailing me things to Bill at home.  It's been making Brad suspicious." 

Look Just Don't Touch

Double D: "I'm going to Caribou"


Me (mom): "There are college boys coming over to move the couch, don't you wanna stick around?


Double D: "I have a boyfriend, why would it matter?


Me (mom): I have a husband, but that doesn't stop me from slowing down on Mill Street when there's a hot jogger."